New York Yankees Sold to New Investor

Mr. Chip Sotolar (right) today officially announced his resignation from the Molson Baseball League, news that did not come as a surprise to the League. Mr. Sotolar--who had owned the Yankees for over 15 years--had been less able to steward the franchise last season, and finally decided it was time for fresh blood.

Although there are several highlights of Mr. Sotolar's tenure in the MBL, he is perhaps best known as the bait that led to questions regarding the sexual orientation of a former owner. That owner, whose names (he had two) will not be released for fear of legal action, upon initially sighting Mr. Sotolar in Cleveland, Ohio, said, "He's gorgeous!"

We wish Mr. Sotolar the best in his future endeavors.

The new owner of the Yankees is Mark Hetterich, a veteran of the American Baseball League and Yankees fan. Mr. Hetterich has promised the Bronx that he will not relocate the team, and that he will use the designated hitter rule in league play.