RANDOM SHOTS by The Pistol

RANDOM SHOTS
Musing form the Muzzle of The Pistol....
May 26, 2006

Here's the meaning of life. No, really. Ready?.......It's always a popularity contest.

Prom Queen, American Idol or All-Star Athlete, maybe even the President of the global corporation we call the good ol' U.S. of A (LLC.) is never voted to their elected position by merit. (well, maybe the prom queen) It is almost a fait accompli that the person most popular with the masses wins the contest. Now, this sickens me on a deep and cellular level, and I'm not talking wireless. So, if we're so damn smart as a species, and WE reward popularity rather than facts, or even, statisitics (gasp), who's to say that the Artificial Intelligence we create doesn't also play favorites. Or better yet, have favorites, Now, what the hell am I blathering about?!?!!

Ever notice in DMB that the A.I just loves certain players and hates others, not matter what the statistics scream to the contrary, year in and year out? A mi tambien, hombres.....

I may be a child of the 60's and have way too much in common with David Crosby, but I ain't had the "funny" mushrooms with my omelet du fromage today. (as of this posting) Try as we must to blame it on random numbers, ghosts in the machine, or a glitch in the matrix (game or otherwise), none of that is the case. The game has favorite players, plain and simple. Better yet, it has own brand of the knuckleball, the incredibly random and dramatic moment. And why shouldn't it, we, who created said psuedo-intelligence plays favorites every day. Who doesn't enjoy a good Bucknerian moment in the game of baseball. Just some programable randomness, you may say? Not what the sages and scribes talk about since the dawn of Man. Hand of God, Luck o' the Irish, Force Majure......opera fans know it as Deus Ex Machina. Blah, blah blah, save the religious rhetoric for The White House! Me, I don't buy it. I think the bastard A. I. just has a warped sense of humor, like the rest of us. I can dig that, man. And Crosby, stop bogarting....

Don't believe me? You're already recalling that perfect match-up, when all is alighned in the cosmos and on paper, yet Ricky Bottalico bloops a double to seal the fate of the M's in game 7. (ooh, I love that one) Mark Loretta, 208 hits in the real leagues, bashes 266 in the MBL! Still don't believe me, Jerome Williams is 22-8 for SF over the last three seasons. My personal favorite. Toby Hall hits 80 points higher over his MLB BA. Year in, year out. And those were just the ones I liked. The list goes on. Go on and check the stats!......Your witness, counselor.

Mad as a hatter, you say? Nay, nay. The bloody game has a sense of the dramatic, well maybe the macabre. Think you've rested that platoon .400 hitter enough, just wating for those nasty southpaws to......BOOM, 45 days on the DL! Need a clutch HR? Screw that super-sub. Think reliever with no major league AB's! (happened vs the Fish this week). Hey, not that I'm complaining. I mean, Jerome "Ouch" Williams, 22-8. Holy Damp Rosin Bag, Batman!

What can be done about all this insanity. I, for one, open a bottle of port with some stinky English Stilton before I play the week's games. That way, when Ryan Doumit hits that two-out grand salami against BJ Ryan, I toast the randomness of the universe!!! Why should I worry?
I got Steve Trachsel ready to pinch hit his way to glory in the 9th....

love and randomness,

Pistol Pete
(the bastard son of "Homerun" Hal Breedan)

Interleague Play Begins!

The Molson Baseball League begins three weeks of interleague play this week. Sadly for baseball fans, most of the matchups look like first-round NCAA tournament games. In previous years, the MBL opened the year with interleague play, but these contests were moved toward the middle of the 2006 schedule as the league reoriented the schedule this year to balance home-and-away scheduling.

Interleague series feature home-and-away three-game sets against one division in the opposing league. In previous years, teams would play every team in the other league, but all games would be at one site. In 2007, the Capitol Division and Southern Division will square off while the Gateway Division and Rivals Division will meet for the first time since 2005.

Here's our viewers guide for the upcoming week.

Turn off Skinemax

Seattle vs. Boston. Freaky Friday? Pat Barry and Jack Buchanan square off against their former franchises in the highlight matchup of the week. Seattle has the second-best record in the league and Boston--motivated by pre-draft predictions of their doom--is tied with the New York Yankees for first place in the competitive Rivals Division.

Washington Nationals vs. San Francisco. There is no question the quality of baseball will be poor, but this is a series you have to watch like a bad accident, Big Brother episode, or a Bush speech. You have no idea how it will end, but you know it will be bloody. When the Giants face the Mariners or Red Sox, you know it will be tough, but both sides are interested in winning; with the Nationals, there are no such pretensions. Ultimate Fighting Championships has cancelled its shows this week in anticipation.

Have the New Orleans Mayoral Debate on in the Background

Chicago vs. Atlanta. One of the most evenly-matched series of the week, the White Sox and Braves will fight to turn around disappointing seasons as each is eight games or more under .500 and already 10 games out.

Washington Senators vs. Minnesota. Yes, this is a first-vs.-worst matchup, but the Twins--only two games under .500--are more competitive than half the teams in the MBL. Throw in the homer hankies, periodic air conditioning, and the Senators' slowdown from their early frantic pace, and you have a series.

Florida vs. Oakland. Will the real Marlins please stand up? After being all but handed the Capitol Division crown on draft day, South Florida is struggling to stay in playoff contention, currently six games off the pace. The Athletics, in contrast, are clearly on the upswing, fighting for a playoff berth perhaps a year earlier than many expected. Marlins' manager Earl Weaver could be in jeopardy if the Fish don't turn it around soon.

Toronto vs. New York Mets. The Mets need to do well to stay ahead of San Francisco in the race for the final American League playoff spot. The Blue Jays are victims of bad luck, outscoring their opponents by 30 runs this season despite their 28-32 mark.

St. Louis vs. San Diego. The wild card-favorite Cardinals should win against the horrendous Padres in a battle between French and Spanish saints. The Padres have allowed 322 runs this year--second worst in the MBL--despite playing in "pitcher's park." This series would land in the last category were it not for an interest in seeing how many home runs Albert Pujols can put up against the mustard men.

Watch American Dreams Instead

Los Angeles vs. Arizona. The first-place Dodgers should have no difficulty with the Diamondbacks, owners of the fewest wins in the MBL. Los Angeles should shoot the moon in the Gateway Division while Arizona returns to familiar drafting territory. The Snakes have allowed a whopping 380 runs thus far, almost a full run per game more than the second-worst Padres.

Tampa Bay vs. Cleveland. In another worst-vs.-first match, the high-flying Indians offense will bat against the worst pitching in the National League. The Devils Rays have talent, but are a few years away. In a sign of compassion, David Yamin has chartered busses to bring fans down from Detroit to see the renewal of the Lake Erie series.

Houston vs. New York Yankees. The Yankees--tied with Boston for first in the Rivals Division--match up well against the rebuilding Astros. Mark Hetterich has done well turning around a team that was always in the Dodgers' shadow, putting the Bronx squarely in contention. The Astros--with the demise of franchise MVP Jeff Bagwell--look as bad as they have in 15 years.

The 1991 World Champion Cubs: 15 Years Later

Part one of a periodic series looking at MBL history

CHICAGO- The smell of peanuts no longer wafts through the air at the corner of Waveland and Addison in Chicago's north side now that the baseball nine have moved to Minnesota, but few fans here, despite the darkness of the Spellos era, can forget the year the curse was broken. Only fifteen short years ago, the Cubs did the unthinkable, beating the defending champion San Diego Padres--and future Hall of Fame pitcher Roger Clemens--in a game seven blowout, winning the city's first and only World Series title. Adding to the story of the Cardiac Cubs, Chicago had trailed in the Series, 3-1, before beating the 116-game winning Padres in three straight.

"Amazing," recollected longtime trainer Captain Larry Bridgewater. "The [Rick] Leach grand slam in game seven ... I can still remember the look on Clemens' face."

Despite being a Series underdog against the defending champions, Chicago was no pushover. The Cubs themselves had posted a 124-38 regular season mark, winning 63 road games. The rotation featured its own Hall of Famer--Nolan Ryan (16-5, 1.89)--and a solid supporting staff in Oil Can Boyd (24-1, 2.00), Sid Fernandez (23-4, 2.53), rookie Mike Harkey (10-6, 2.57), and David Cone (13-4, 3.45). Although the team did not need much offense, Mark Grace (.323-15-100) and Ryan Sandberg (.322-34-139) were the top two hitters in the league, with a 180-pound Barry Bonds (.310-44-144, 82 steals) patrolling left field. Current Seattle Mariner manager Carlton Fisk (.289-23-80), Willie McGee (.280-3-59), Shawon Dunston (.223-10-62), and Robin Ventura (.259-7-64) rounded out the northside lineup for manager Whitey Herzog.

"I remember San Diego's owner--Rich Perrotti--walking past the dugout before game four saying the entire league was rooting for the Padres," Fisk recalled during a recent interview in Seattle. "That really got our ire up. I remember the glare in Nolan's eyes in particular. He was always intense, but he looked criminally insane after hearing that comment."

The seventh game of the World Series was played at Jack Murphy Stadium, featuring a matchup between Clemens and Ryan. Over the course of the first three innings, the game was tied, 2-2, with Sandberg and San Diego's Matt Williams each connecting for two-run shots. In the top of the fourth inning, Clemens exhibited unusual wildness, walking the bases loaded with two outs. Herzog then did the unthinkable, pulling Ryan after three innings in an attempt to break the game open. Rather than calling upon more established bats on the bench such as Otis Nixon, Bob Boone, or Dale Murphy, the White Rat pointed at Rick Leach (.300-2-22), a left-handed outfielder who had 183 regular season at bats that year. Leach seemed as bewildered as anyone.

"I remember seeing Whitey point to the end of the bench ... and I thought it was at Marvell [Wynne], who was sitting next to me, but then Nick Leyva called me over," Leach, currently an insurance salesman in Winslow, Arizona, said. "I grabbed one of Ryne's bats off the rack and went to the on-deck circle." Fans in the first few rows could hear Ryan voicing his displeasure at being removed from the game.

The rest is history.

Padre catcher Benito Santiago, who admitted after the game at not having read any scouting reports on Leach, positioned himself low and away, and the Rocket delivered. Leach, who was told by Sandberg to look for a first-pitch fastball, was ready, swung, and delivered an opposite-field grand slam to put the Cubs ahead, 6-2. San Diego never recovered, and lost the game, 10-3.

"There will never be a comeback to rival that one," Fisk confidently stated last week. "Even today, I have a hard time believing that all happened. The die were cast once Leach came to the plate, and we got it done."

Other 1991 Chicago Cubs: Juan Gonzalez, Mickey Hatcher, Greg Litton, Derrick May, Gary Varsho, Hector Villanueva, Curt Schilling, Randy Tomlin, Bryan Harvey, Scott Terry, Norm Charlton, and Alejandro Pena.